I am at a dead end

This was written a few weeks ago. This doesn't reflect our current situation.

I am at a dead end. I never thought things could be this tough on this front.

But I am lucky because I can see irony/humor/joke in every situation, including this one. My usual trouble is I see and SAY things about 5 years ahead. I cannot/ will not wait to say what I've seen.

1.  "Math is easy," I said, even when I was struggling with simple sine and cosine etc.
2.  "Chemistry is easy," I said, even when I was struggling with periodic table and valencies.
3.  "Literature is easy," I said, even when I was struggling with the question of whether to use "aim to win" or "aim at winning." 
4. "Linguistic is easy," I said, even when I was struggling with John Lyons's summary of Chomsky.
5. "Software is easy," I said, even when I was struggling with how to switch on a PC, how to print 1 to 10 line by line !!! 
6. "A software business is easy," I say, even when I am struggling with how to run an EC2 instance etc.

People see my sweat, my shaky fingers, my grim face etc.

People see I was having lots of fun.

They didn't see what I saw in my mind. They didn't see the hard work I put in, though the working time may be short ;-)